Not That Mom

I was so incredibly sick that I knew something had to be different. Deep down, I felt God whispering that He had something more planned for me.

That morning, I saw two lines.

Yes… you read that correctly. Two little lines.

After 12 pregnancy tests and 24 negative lines staring back at me, I finally saw the answer I had been waiting for.

I was pregnant.

I remember that moment like it was yesterday.

That same morning, my parents made the two-hour drive from Ohio to Pennsylvania to share heartbreaking family news with us. There were no phone calls. No texts. No warning that they were coming. They simply showed up at 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning.

At first, I wondered, Why are they here so early? How did they know?

But they didn’t know.

They had no idea that just moments before, our lives had changed forever.

They had driven from my hometown in Ohio to tell us about my Godmother. Someone I loved more than words could ever explain. Someone who was such an important part of my life and our family.

Just days before, on that Wednesday, I had sent her a text telling her I was praying for her and that I loved her. I still have that message saved because some moments become more precious with time.

When my parents arrived and I saw the look on their faces, I knew this was bigger than just us. After everything our family had been carrying — the heartache, the uncertainty, the grief — I knew we had to share our news.

We had to tell them.

“We’re pregnant.”

The screams, the hugs, the tears… those moments are forever etched into my heart. Somehow, in the middle of sadness and sorrow, God was reminding us that He was still writing our story.

We went to breakfast that morning and sat together, soaking in every moment. And that Sunday — June 4th — became the day everything changed.

Not because life suddenly became perfect.

Not because all the pain disappeared.

But because God was showing us that even in seasons of uncertainty, He is still present. He is still working. He is still creating beauty from places we don’t always understand.

This blog is more than just my story. It is for every woman who has ever asked:

Why me?
Why not me?
Did I do something wrong?
Why does this feel harder for me when it seems so easy for everyone else?
Why do I struggle with something I thought I was supposed to love every moment?

This is for the women who have felt alone in motherhood.

This is for the women who have cried in the bathroom, questioned themselves, wondered if they were enough, or struggled to understand the complicated emotions that come with loving someone so deeply.

I am sharing my journey one moment at a time. One experience at a time. One feeling at a time.

Because I want you to know something:

You are not the only one.

Your thoughts do not make you a bad mother. Your struggles do not define your worth. Your story matters.

You are loved. You are chosen. You are God-created with a purpose.

Motherhood is one of the greatest blessings we will ever receive, but it is also one of the hardest journeys we will ever walk.

So let’s talk about it.

The beautiful moments. The hard moments. The unexpected moments.

All of it.

Because we are in this together.