Not That Mom

Paisleigh was born.

A tiny miracle. A precious gift. A moment I had prayed for and dreamed about.

But what no one always prepares you for is what comes after birth.

The healing.

The emotions.

The overwhelming love mixed with exhaustion.

The beautiful moments mixed with the moments where you wonder, “How am I supposed to do this?”

Whether you are recovering from your first birth or your fourth, the postpartum healing process is a journey. Every birth is different, every mother is different, and every recovery looks different — but one thing remains the same:

Your body just did something incredible, and it needs time, patience, and grace.

I want to share what I experienced, not because I have all the answers, but because I want another mom to know she is not alone.

The Healing Process Is Real

First, let’s talk about something nobody really wants to talk about.

There will be blood.

A lot of it.

There is no sugarcoating that part.

You just carried a human being for nine months. Your body stretched, changed, and worked harder than it ever has before. It created life, and now it needs time to recover.

Your entire body may feel sore. You may feel exhausted. You may feel like you have been hit by a truck and then handed a newborn baby to care for.

And honestly?

That’s because you have.

Be gentle with yourself.

Take the time to heal.

I know… easier said than done, right?

You now have this beautiful little baby who depends on you for everything. Rest can feel impossible.

But please hear me:

When the baby sleeps, you sleep.

Leave the dishes.

Let the laundry pile up.

Order takeout.

Ignore the stack of mail.

Don’t worry if your hair hasn’t been brushed or you haven’t had a shower yet.

Your house can wait.

Your baby needs you, but your baby also needs a healthy, rested, and cared-for mama.

Your Mom Superpowers Will Activate

After having a baby, you develop something I like to call “bionic hearing.”

Every little noise wakes you.

Every grunt.

Every sneeze.

Every tiny sound coming from your baby’s crib.

You will worry about every little thing because suddenly this tiny human has your entire heart walking around outside your body.

And guess what?

That is completely normal.

You are learning your baby. Your baby is learning you. You are both figuring this out together.

If you have more children, you may notice you become a little calmer with time. You realize that every sound does not mean something is wrong, and you begin trusting yourself more.

But in those early days?

Give yourself grace.

Mama, Please Remember to Take Care of You

One of the easiest things to forget after having a baby is yourself.

You become so focused on feeding, changing, rocking, soothing, and loving this little person that you forget you have needs too.

Please eat.

Please drink water.

Please take your vitamins.

Please shower.

Please step outside for five minutes if you can.

If you need to set reminders on your phone to eat and drink, do it.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish.

It is necessary.

Your baby needs you.

Accept the Help

This one was hard for me.

I wanted to do everything myself.

I remember feeling frustrated when people offered help because I thought:

“If someone helps me, how will I ever learn? What happens when they aren’t here?”

But here is what I learned:

Accepting help does not make you weak.

It makes you human.

Let someone hold the baby while you shower.

Let someone bring you a meal.

Let someone fold the laundry.

Let someone sit with you when the days feel long.

Your village is not there because you failed.

Your village is there because God never intended for us to walk through life alone.

The Part We Need to Talk About More: Postpartum Depression

If you take anything from this post, please take these next words seriously.

Postpartum depression is real.

Postpartum anxiety is real.

And needing help does not mean you are a bad mother.

After both of my daughters were born, I found myself blaming myself for everything.

Every cry.

Every sickness.

Every difficult moment.

I questioned if I was doing enough.

I questioned if I was enough.

There were moments when the weight of everything felt unbearable.

The diapers.

The crying.

The feeding struggles.

The reflux.

The sleepless nights.

The constant responsibility.

The feeling that everyone needed something from me while I felt like I had nothing left to give.

One night, I found myself sitting on the cold concrete step in our garage, rocking back and forth and praying that everything would be okay.

And then I heard her.

My oldest daughter.

Crying.

Knocking on the door behind me because she knew something was wrong and she wanted her mama.

That moment changed something inside of me.

I realized something I will never forget:

I needed them just as much as they needed me.

My daughters and my husband were not just people I was responsible for.

They were part of my purpose.

They were my reminder that I mattered too.

That night, I reached out.

I researched.

I talked to my husband.

We made a plan to communicate better, check in with each other, and make sure I was getting the support I needed.

And I want you to know:

Asking for help was one of the strongest things I ever did.

To the Mama Reading This

I know every mother’s journey looks different.

I know some days feel magical and some days feel impossible.

I know there are moments where you wonder if anyone else feels the way you do.

So please hear me:

You are not alone.

You are not failing.

You are not a bad mom because you are struggling.

You are a human being experiencing one of the biggest transitions of your life.

Motherhood is beautiful.

Motherhood is hard.

Motherhood is holy.

And God chose you for this journey.

If you ever feel like you have no one to talk to, please know you can reach out. I am always willing to listen because I have been there too.

We do not have to pretend motherhood is easy.

We can talk about the beautiful moments and the hard ones.

The joy.

The exhaustion.

The tears.

The laughter.

All of it.

Because this journey is not meant to be walked alone.

Post Partum Resources & Support

Mama, if you are reading this and something in your heart is telling you that you need help, please listen to that voice.

Reaching out does not mean you are weak. It does not mean you are failing. It means you are taking care of yourself — and taking care of yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give your baby.

Postpartum struggles are real, and you do not have to walk through them alone.

Here are some resources that are available to help:

Immediate Support

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
📞 Call or text: 1-833-9-ASK-MOM (1-833-927-5666)
A free, confidential hotline for pregnant and postpartum moms, offering support from trained counselors who understand maternal mental health.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
📞 Call or text: 988
If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, feeling unsafe, or feeling like you cannot continue, please reach out. You matter, and help is available.

Maternal Mental Health Support

Postpartum Support International (PSI)
A wonderful resource for postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, pregnancy loss, and emotional support after birth. They provide education, support groups, and help connecting moms with resources in their area.

Website: postpartum.net

The Blue Dot Project
A community focused on breaking the stigma surrounding maternal mental health and reminding moms that postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than many people realize.

Website: thebluedotproject.org

Talk to Someone You Trust

Sometimes the first step is simply saying:

“I am struggling.”

Talk to:

• Your spouse or partner
• Your doctor or OB/GYN
• Your midwife
• Your pediatrician
• A trusted friend or family member
• A counselor or therapist

You do not have to wait until things feel unbearable to ask for support.

Postpartum Physical Recovery Support

Your body went through an incredible journey, and healing takes time.

Consider reaching out to:

• Your OB/GYN or healthcare provider for physical concerns
• A pelvic floor physical therapist for postpartum recovery
• A lactation consultant if breastfeeding challenges arise
• Your primary care provider for ongoing support

Your Village Matters

Mama, please remember:

You were never meant to do this alone.

Accept help.

Ask questions.

Speak honestly.

Let people love you.

The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. The perfectly clean house can wait.

You matter too.

Your baby does not need a perfect mom.

Your baby needs you.

And if you ever feel like you are struggling, please know this:

You are not alone.

You are loved.

You are important.

You are doing better than you think.